happy friday!

Angry Numbers: one, two

This is just fzcking unacceptable, and also further evidence that sexist institutions are way more accepted than racist or otherwise bigoted ones. If covered medical services for black people had been reduced from 82% to 22% in the span of 7 years, Al Sharpton would be rallying people in the streets. Women need an Al Sharpton of their own. Do you think I could pull off that hair?

Smooooooooth.

This book sounds amazing.

Headline of the Day.

Compare and Contrast.

***
I want to be like Amy Poehler when I grow up.

Fluffy wuffy!

BWAHAHAHA

These are so awesome, I would totally have them on my food truck.

Batman be crazy, Star Wars has ennui.

Magic Beans!

What?

What the UCB hath wrought.

This is fzcking genius. (Original)

thursday!

Okay, going back to the zombie rant from the other day: this will not be used by people who fear zombies, and framing a design concept like that in that way is beyond obnoxious. Dick Cheney and the Koch Brothers, on the other hand, would totally hole up in evil fortresses like that when the starving masses rise up. All those things need are defense turrets. It's what Roger Ailes' compound should look like. Also.

Hey, how about we not have this argument? First off, it matters more that he's the President, and we should push him to act in our interest regardless, and secondly, the question smacks of the sentiment I disdained when it was coming from the right about how W. wasn't a "real" Republican. Authentic worldview matters a hell of a lot less than the actual business we need to tend to.

SO MANY COOKIES

We must save Chicago from Rahm Emanuel and the Privateers.

Hot Town Hall Action: one, two

This is completely fzcking fzcked up. Holy sh1t.

The electoral system is broken. More here.

So that's probably not good.

OH COME ON

File Under: Gross Metaphors

It is 2011, right? I didn't wake up in 1873 or something?

***

I don't know if this is cute and I want one, or if I'm simply terrified.

The future is full of goo.

Fzck I love Nick Offerman.

Pretty!

Nerds scare the hell out of me sometimes.

Worst "Let's Agree to Disagree" of the Day. I didn't know you could do that with basic math principles, but hey.

puppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppy

wednesday!

I'm so afraid these will only ever be dreams and not realities. Frankly, I blame Ira Glass. It seems like the Chicago arts scene has been suffering since he bailed on us, and it doesn't help that all the talented arty people all seem to just want to get the hell out of here instead of making art locally, where it's so much more badly needed than California (I'm looking at you, Dan Telfer. If he keeps bashing Chicago I'm going to unfollow him on Twitter, he's breaking my heart).

We are monsters. Am I way off in thinking that schools should be like ERs, everyone welcome who's in need? I mean, come on. ALSO.

Fun, I guess.

AKA, How to Induce a Panic Attack. My mascara (which sucks, and I'm looking to switch brands) ranked 7 out of 10 for neurotoxicity and endocrine disruption. Unfair. I should not have to spend $18 to get the mascara that doesn't give you eyeball cancer.

This seems like a pretty decent idea overall, except that it would unfairly discriminate against folks who couldn't afford a full legal consult. But otherwise, not bad.

This is so fzcking unfair. My chemistry set was awesome.

Rachel Maddow is talking to you, Anderson Cooper.

***

I actually like this Epic Meal Time better than most of the others, but again: starving children, dammit.

Hot.

Awesome duck and cat action.

Whoa.

tuesday!

The Gitmo Files: one, two, three, four

WTF "antihelium".

I like this idea. Do it.

Town Hall Follies: one, two

Right Wing Strategery: one, two, three, four, five

More like this, pls.

Lady Ads. I love the Chase & Sanborn one.

The War on Women (and Men): one, two, three, four(!)

***

I heart Etsy: happy lil owls and whimsy bees.

monday!

This interview with Larry Kramer is really thought-provoking (or it was for me, anyway). To what extent should identity politics shape your actions? I totally support traditional forms of activism, but there's also a lot to be said for simply living your life and being a good person to act as a sort of ambassador for gays/atheists/feminists/liberals. It activates The Grandpa Effect in what would otherwise be an intolerant person, e.g. my Grandpa was super racist, but thought the black guys he worked with were good guys*. Familiarity breeds tolerance, not contempt. And progress begins at home, right? It's hard to get motivated to participate in a march and wave a placard in peoples' faces, but it's easy to have a conversation with a neighbor about their lawn.

* - There's a phenomenon that I'm certain exists but I've never see it discussed anywhere, and sadly, we're losing the opportunity to capture it, but I swear there's an impulse among German-Americans who fought the Nazis in WWII (my mom's dad was primarily in North Africa, fighting the Desert Fox) to overcompensate in the patriotism department, a weird side effect of that being a pronounced xenophobia. Now that I think of it, the possible threat of internment a la the Japanese-Americans probably had a good bit to do with it, but still.

Healthcare, Money, and You: one, two, three

Fracked: one, two

This is gross and wrong. More "1984 in Action" historical revisionism happening here.

Consumerism is bad for healthcare: one, two

The War on Women: one, two

Troublemaking Socialist Dogs ad Beavers.

Genius.

WTF

***

Yeah. Everyone have a good Easter?

Lil Thor!

Awesome Bear! (via)

Cuteness in Black and White: one, two, three (bonus IRL Simon's Cat)

Aww: one, two

AWWWW

This is NSFW. It is a rap tribute to "t1tties and carrot cake". It's not quite as awesome as "Smell Yo D1ck" but it's close. "I think she wants my carrot cake, but I just wanna show my nuts" is my favorite line, although the girl rapper's whole verse is pretty amazing. Whatever your personal feelings on carrot cake may be, prepare to have that perception altered somewhat.

happy friday!

Illinois Pension Reform. It's happening, people. Hold on to your butts. (Srsly, debate in comments are great on this extremely terrifying subject)

Guy with PR problems hangs out with other guy with PR problems, news at 11.

Tummy bugs. I'm fascinated by this research.

I have no idea (though I'd guess the auto/gas industry is a big part of it), but there should be a Google Translate function to autoconvert whole recipes because the non-US food blogs make me do math and that's fun for no one.

This means Mattttt's next car could self-immolate in a whole new, Pink-Floyd-y kind of way. Awesome!

So now would be a really good time to cut sex ed and contraception funding, right?

Yes, because legality is meaningless if what you need is rendered inaccessible by manipulation and bureaucracy.

File Under: American Ingenuity

Hey, so that's a little creepy.

***
Pfft! Where is "doin' it with lots of French ladies"?

cannot unsee

Kitties (and doggies): one, two

Baby bears!

thursday!

Well DUH.

Glimpses of the Future: one, two, three

Since the majority of US workers are paid by the hour, I would've like to see that included here for good measure, not that the math is difficult (annual salary divided by 2080, total hours worked/paid out to a full time employee at 40 hours/week). The top earner, for example, makes $40,625 per hour, while the lowest earner makes a measly $3,798 per hour. The top earner also earns more in one hour than 51,463,000 households earned in a year, and that's according to the 2005 census data on Wikipedia, so you know it's even worse now.

Ramps! Who's eaten these? I've never seen them in stores and now I'm thinking about starting a patch in next year's garden.

NONONO

Good sign/bad sign?

Dude.

The War on Women: one, two, three, four

Pretty sure the new CPS head makes me wanna barf.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

Oh the huge manatees: one, two

****

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerds!!!

MBMBaM Live! The ALF stuff they did still broke me, even on the second listen. And you can totally see Tom for half a second at the half hour mark.

/can'tstoptwitching

Okay, for reals: who wants to go to Chinatown sometime for dim sum? Because OM NOM NOM.

Bonus food nonsense: potatoes, Cadbury creme eggs, eggburger

wednesday!

Can we all agree that these sorts of discussions are godsdamned ridiculous and people who start with this sort of thing should be openly mocked? We have an advanced, civilized culture that allows for leisure time and ergo, sitting. This is a good thing. I daresay, without having the alternative experience for comparison, that I prefer an existence that involves a fair amount of sitting rather than, say, spending large portions of my day running from large predators in the wilderness. Also, everything dies at some point and even if sitting is the enemy and you never sat down again for the rest of your life you would still die, so calm the fzck down and go eat some ice cream or play with a puppy or something, for pete's sake.

Yeah.

More on Michigan.

Tax the Rich, save the world. Or at least the middle class.

Oh Alan Keyes, you are your own punchline.

Science Science. (related)

Every once in a while the racists really take my breath away. Also.

Our awesome discourse.

/headdesk

Whoa.

***

Have I mentioned lately how much I completely love Jocelyn Elders?

This is one of the better TED talks I've seen in a long time.

This is odd but kind of adorable.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?

Yeah. But Laurie Kilmartin is the Conan writer and she's equal to four peoples' worth of funny. I love her.

Justice!!

Kitties! (the gray one is the best)

tuesday!

Rachel Maddow covers a story getting barely any notice. Recap if you can't see the video right away: Michigan and Rick Snyder are using the new state's "financial martial law" to dissolve the town of Benton Harbor, a town that happens to be nearly 90% black and overwhelmingly poor, and replace it with a giant golf course and a bunch of McMansions. The land to be developed for the project includes a small, public beachfront park that was gifted to the town of Benton Harbor by the Klock family in loving memory of their deceased daughter. They asked, when the park was dedicated, that it always be preserved for children of the town.

Taxes: one, two, three, four

I love wordcloud analysis.

Daily Dose of Sanity from Paul Krugman.

I have no idea if this would actually be anything other than a money pit. *I* certainly don't have a burning need for a velodrome.

I am disappoint,VegNews.

I honestly don't know what to make of this, but I don't think I approve. But I can't say why.

***

Sleepy noms.

Gorgeous.

Cookie the Penguin. : )

monday!

Fzcking SNOW? Are you kidding me?

***

This is just embarrassing. I was not necessarily a fan of JJJ before, but that sort of nonsense puts him squarely in Ted Stevens, "series of tubes" territory. But I suppose it wouldn't be a day ending in -y if a Democrat *didn't* make me cringe. Also.

The GOP is a fzcking joke: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

Well, obviously. Also. ALSO.

I love me some Krugman.

Ah, crap.

CPD! CPS! Chicago morons!

The War on Women, cont'd.

Bonus: the War on Science.

Speechless.

I disapprove of this. She should be in prison for war crimes, not on one of my favorite TV shows.

***

Um, okay.

Sweet Jeebus, Food Network, crap like this is why I don't watch you any more. All of those shows, particularly the ones involving travel, have to be so much more expensive than an actual cooking show with a simple set. WHY.

Headline of the Day.

So, have we reached the bottom of the barrel now?

WTF Craigslist: one, two

Please Please Please...?

Kitties: one, two, three

thursday!

I did a bunch of garden prep work yesterday (peas and beets are going in next week, and yes I deliberately chose the "Feisty Peas.")! I raked back 4 inches of topsoil and dug several large holes, all the way down to the clay. Then Cash sat in one of the holes, which was deep enough that just his head was poking out like a groundhog and it was freaking adorable. Then I made this thing for dinner. Between playing in the dirt and rolling out a pie crust, I felt like a freaking pioneer superwoman or something. Point being I was not Internet-adjacent for most of the day so the round up's a little light. And I will probably be taking tomorrow off, because today's agenda mostly involves more dirt and a few power tools.

***

Save Bradley Manning.

Almost certainly yes.

Taxes, in burritos and beers.

***

Found my spirit animal.

Why was I not informed earlier that there is a Red Panda Sex Fund at the Lincoln Park Zoo?

Um, okay.

HUGZ

wednesday!

Hey! I finished Good Omens yesterday and it was *really* good. It's been forever since I read some fun, engaging fiction. Then I knocked out The Body Artist by Don Delillo after dinner and I'm not sure I totally understood it but it was fine enough.

***

"A senior United Nations representative on torture, Juan Mendez, issued a rare reprimand to the US government on Monday for failing to allow him to meet in private Bradley Manning, the American soldier accused of being the WikiLeaks source and held in a military prison. It is the kind of censure the UN normally reserves for authoritarian regimes around the world."

Wisconsin: one, two, three

Oh goody.

This is awesome. One answer to his question re: why kids' books don't do the same thing anymore--because we've given up on class mobility and the idea that kids can grow up to be a doctor or whatever instead of praying for a cashier's job at Walmart.

Corollary to the above: no one ever says they want to be a junkie who gets beat up in fetish videos when they grow up.

There's a tremendous difference between taxing the things that make people fat and taxing people for being fat. Guess which option is stupid and hateful?

Surreal. I don't even know what to say anymore.

Fzck this guy.

***

Hmph. First of all, I am reminded of the David Cross quote about how you can't live in artistic integrity. Also, way to marginalize and dismiss all the non-Westernized artists who are producing in absence of marketing departments, and sometimes indoor plumbing. I find Banksy whimsical and all, but are we about done with all this now? ALSO: to sh1t on Marketing/PR folks, when like 90% of the appeal of Banksy's art is the stuntlike anonymity....you may need your hipster ironymeter recalibrated, is all I'm saying.

Bonus: subversive literature

Approve or Disapprove? I have never had strong opinions on the Crow.

Genius.

This is how little girls join the Dark Side. I'm sure this sort of thing helps.

This is gonna be in my head all day.

WHAT. The 70s were so weird.

tuesday!

Killing the Poor: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

Destroying Public Schools: one, two, three

When does non-vaccination become child abuse?

Don't tell the U.S. what it can't do: one, two  #Lost

FZCK (also) (ALSO)

I don't approve of this policy, but if you're called on to justify it, at least try to claim it's in the name of protecting the kids with peanut allergies or something. Otherwise it just sounds like you're calling the parents crappy and that's bad PR. Also: Whoa!

DC Mayor arrested for protesting budget cuts: one, two

The War on Women: one, two, three, four, five

Power is from Mars, Magic is from Venus

Oh Canada...

Awesome! I was starting to miss Erik being smug about buying a Prius. : P

Infuriating trend, though one of the commenters is right that it's not Blockbuster's fault. Does anyone want to take bets on how long it will be until Big Hollywood implodes from their own shenanigans?

aka, What About My Right to be an Ignorant Bigot?

Sweet Lady Irony.

Wisdom: one, two

***

AWWWW

Heck Yeah

monday!

1. The speculation about Capone is extremely apt, and 2. "Colorado's most infamous asspipe" is a gorgeous turn of phrase.

Or we could pick our own date and make up a clever rhyme for that. Otherwise I totally agree with the plan. (supporting arguments)

This love letter to non-union teachers can seriously go fzck itself in the face.

Further f/u on Clarence Thomas' recent opinion.

Tom's reaction (after laughing): Dude, if someone's doing Pap smears at Walgreens you need to call the cops. (Insert "Clean up, Aisle 3" joke here).

CRAP

An extremely good suggestion.

Filthy fzcking bigots: one, two

***

File Under: Unholy Unions

I don't necessarily need an awesome button, but I can think of half a dozen variants that would make existence a lot more fun.

Truth and Wisdom.

Saying a lot: this is one of the weirder things I've seen on the Interwebs lately.

Puppers!

Zing!

WIN

Overwhelming amounts of cuteness.

New Lars von Trier movie, Space Wedding Apocalypse.

happy friday!

Oh my gods, you guys. I watched a little of the Coupon show. The idiot in the image accompanying the article in the clickthrough bought three cartloads of groceries for six bucks. But here's the thing: in order to get that magical total, she had to "maximize coupon value" by breaking up her purchase into eighteen separate transactions. This sort of thing cannot possibly gain traction in real life or we will see a massive outbreak in point of sale rage-murders. My heart was breaking for the poor cashier when she rang up half the order on one tab and had to start over.

Okay, am I the only person who sees something wrong with cops pepper spraying an 8 year old special ed kid? Because that seems really wrong. The fact that there appears to be more outrage over this...?

And hey, speaking of things you shouldn't be doing to 8 year olds: Botox

Naked Man with AK-47 Fires at SWAT Robot.

Get to know ALEC.

Um, everything?

Perspective.

Enh, we didn't need the environment anyway, right? (bonus Fzck Texas)

The War on Women, state by state.

Smart-arse bees.

Another thing people are spending money on instead of donating to a charity that stops stupid people from doing stupid things.

Oh for fzck's sake. OH FOR FZCKS SAKE.

Quick Hits: Infrastructure, Morons, Witches, the Shutdown, Drugs, Out of Control B0ners

***
Please stop flinging the snakes, I think you're making them mad.

Pretty sure that Cringer is why I wanted a cat so badly when I was a kid.

Spiderman, Reuben Spiderman.

KITTIES

Everybody's seen the Bill Hicks documentary trailer, yes?

Bunnycat II

DUDE.

thursday!

Reality and parody are basically indistinguishable now. Further evidence.

YUP

Well, obviously.

I'm just gonna puke blood and go back to bed, then.

Two Things: I hate Jonah Goldberg's stupid face, and I hate David Frum's evil face even more. The fact that he got booted by true believers and occasionally says reasonable things now does not equal grounds for forgiveness by ANY means. Also, asking wingnuts to define socialism is easily the quickest way to stop them dead in their tracks.

On slavery.

I am incredibly confused.

THIS x 1000.

So much bitter irony in the first three paragraphs...

Sorta related here.

High-minded rhetoric.

***
Has anyone ever tried meringue coffeecake? I cannot imagine what the texture of the meringue would be in the end product.

Sunshine!

Meh. I hate it less than I thought I would.

You will not be able to get this phrase or image out of your head all day.

LOVE this.

<3 Wil Wheaton.

Bunnycat!

Amazing design.

Plymouth, Montserrat.

WHAT

wednesday!

This is a good point, but my major problem with the Coupon Show (related) is that there are never coupons for like, apples or dried beans or bulk rice. It's always processed, heavily marketed crap (usually with an excess of wasteful packaging), at least as far as food coupons are concerned. Coupons for non-food items like trash bags or cleaning supplies are almost a separate discussion of marketing voodoo vs. generic products of equal quality for half the price, or homemade cleaning hacks.

Okay, WOW.

I'm sure that's all perfectly reasonable and Constitutional.

Good news, everyone!

Ha, suck on that, healthy people.

Koch Talking Points.

File Under: Things That Should Be Real

Genius.

I am really not OK with this. The collateral damage potential is far too great.

I need shorthand for "thing that made me so instantly mad that I shouted an obscenity and startled at least one of the cats." Because THIS.

***

Where do people stand on smoothies? I am way intrigued by recipes like this. I'm looking to branch out from the standard banana+yogurt+frozen fruit+honey+juice/milk thing, and magic nuts and seeds and powders sound fun. And this egg quesadilla recipe is blowing my mind right now. Also really into farro , and chana dal in basically every form (mmm deep fried).

File Under: Understatements

This made me think of that.

Patton Oswalt in a Diaper. (probably NSFW)

What the hell?

Whaaa...?!

monkeybaby!

tuesday!

So it turns out Paul Ryan is full of sh1t. Is *anyone* surprised?

File Under: Merit, Bootstraps

Hey Powerline, would that qualify as cutting and running? A little consistency in your warmongering, pls. Related.

And speaking of consistency, should we be doing something about this?

/speechless

Transparency: one, two, three, four (gosh that seems suspect)

The War on Women: one, two, three, four, five, six. And whatever this is, you are not helping (NSFW).

So......the natural next step is teaching our kids a bunch of lies then? I don't follow.

Sweet Jeezis this is sad.

***

Ken + John Bult = Scream Forever. (nsfw)

Cutest Director of Fun ever.

I love S1uts: one, two, three

I don't "get" Art.

So lonely...

To the moon, tiny orange cat. Also new Bobcats!!

Pretty sure we're going to use this as our podcast signoff.

monday!

Go ahead and strike, unionized public employee. We'll just force scabs to cross picket lines in exchange for their food stamps.

Radical idiots: one, two

CRAP

Well, yeah. Revolucion!

Ron Paul vs. Ron Paul (Bonus: I fzcking hate you, Rand Paul)

File Under: Through the Looking Glass

What is the acceptable number of dead kids? Seriously. That's what we're talking about now.

Oily business: one, two

Reviving child labor in Maine.

This is some spidergoat -type business here. tck! tck! tck!

The ongoing War on Women.

***

Yeah...

I just want grunge-era chunky oxfords to come back. Pls?

BEAR

Parks and Recs gag reel FTW.

happy friday!

"What does this country look like when they get everything they want?"

Sweet fzcking Jeezis: one, two

IRONY

Really?

Dude. I don't know if I should cry or cheer or what.

Toby Ziegler is totally pissed off right now. #WestWing

Bravo, sir, bravo.

"The fatties take up a lot of space." /sigh

Once again, for emphasis: fzck South Dakota.

***

Dr. Bananart

Fact.

Mmm, lumpy.

The Bloody Mary is a beautiful thing.

NOMNOMNOM

Namaste!