monday!

MUST READ: The handiest charts you'll see today. This one's pretty good too, and some bonus Fun Facts.

Y'know....given how racist we know our penal system and our incarceration rates to be, one could make a pretty good argument, I think, that we're sort of re-institutionalizing slavery with sh1t like this. To say nothing of the fact that with something like underwater welding, you're depriving an actual, skilled welder somewhere of paying work (but screw that guy because he's probably in a union that negotiated a fair wage for him anyway), and incentivizing increased incarceration rates, creating more free laborers that deprive even more actual workers of income. Programs like this literally screw everyone except the people who own the prisons and who use the free labor. Which isn't really "free" so much as "tax payer subsidized", FZCK this makes me angry.

The amount of joy I have in my heart for this is quantifiable as roughly equivalent to three Christmases, two birthdays, fourteen puppies and 80 chocolate chip cookies. I'm doing a happy dance. If he actually goes to jail I'll asplode with smiles.

Wisconsin/Labor: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

Awesome AZ.

Chicago 'Burbs Gone Wild: one, two

DUDE

Ladybusiness: one, two, three

Krugman: so on point it's really depressing.

Awesome. Pam Geller is the worst.

Fzck you, Rick Scott.

South Dakota was a battle, not the war.

ZING

***
Lucky jerks.

If you don't love Louis CK you're beyond redemption. The man should get a Congressional Medal of Honor for this. "Hear the silence of his non-answering!"

Adorbs.

Amazing Art.

RUN

happy friday!

DAMMIT YOU GUYS. This rally is the same time as the reproductive rights rally tomorrow. Since I cannot be in both places at once, I will have to pick, and so will everyone else who might be inclined to go out and participate at either event, which means that the crowds at each will only be half as impressive if they get covered by any media. THIS IS WHY WE ALWAYS FAIL. Communication! It doesn't work otherwise. Really can't curse loudly enough on this one.

Further thoughts on Rahm: one, two, three

More Fzcked Economy: one, two

Short Answer: Probably not.

Labor: one, two, three, four

WEINER! (this ends on a pitch-perfect burn, too)

***
BONUS SECTION (totally didn't plan it, but there's every flavor of ladybusiness all up in my Internets):

Pretty sure if it was men with "little t1ts" you wouldn't be quite so blithe about it, fzckface.

This is a good question. I read about the blackface thing the other day and there's almost certainly a legitimate critique to be made there. Tapdancing for dictators is pretty gross too.

Yeah. This is why time-travel-based What If...? games generally don't work for women. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that my mom wasn't allowed to wear pants to public school until she was in high school. Making little girls walk to school in skirts in January is inhuman.

Related: my body is not your motherfzcking billboard. Also in billboards: FAIL.

Ladybiz quick hits: godly rapes, fun with spelling, throwing women under the legislative bus (again), Virginia is for Misogynists, hobbies.

***
So....Rihanna and Channing Tatum, then? I'm not totally sure who they are but that sounds about right.

Snrk!

omg. (sorta related)

Impressive. I don't think I could walk confidently toward one lion, let alone fifteen.

Bbbbbagginses and Boffins!

Kitties!!!!: one, two

thursday!

Michele Bachmann: Bubblehead.

Wisconsin: one, two, three, four, five, six

When the library is attacked, everyone loses.

Republicans want to poison and lacerate your children.
 
YUP

No beer and lots of acid make Homer something something...

Noooooooo.....I've only been to Earwax a couple of times but it's great. Sad.

The cunning use of flags.

I do not approve of this.

***
Heartwarming with extra cheese.

SAVE PBS

Surprised that I didn't get annoyed by this.

I prefer to think of this movie as Girl Interrupted....By Space Dragons.

Adorable Egg.

A whole lotta music.

Fzck I love Chris Ware.

wednesday!

My brothers and sisters: People who work for the the TSA are not witches. They're you. They're [mostly] regular folks who were desperate for a job. While I understand the sentiment of the restaurant folks, unless you're able to pointedly discriminate against the handful of folks at the very top of the TSA, a ban on serving TSA employees is the functional equivalent of the rabble fighting amongst itself while the rich watch and laugh and continue to sh1t on our future because we're too busy arguing with each other to go after the real bad guys. I can haz Solidarity pls?

***
Morning Musics: one, two (there's at least one verse missing from this version of the song, and it's my favorite: "Is there ought we hold in common with the greedy parasite / who would lash us into serfdom and would crush us with his might / Is there anything left to us / But to organize and fight / For the Union keeps us strong")

Holy crap, if this kid is the future, the future is gonna be AWESOME. (this kid too)

Wisconsin: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

But there's totally no stigma attached to mental illness or seeking treatment.

MUST WATCH: Rachel Maddow does amazing work: one, two

Can I get an Amen?

Some further perspectives on Lara Logan's assault: one, two

IRONY

Oh for fzcks' sake, Texas.

I voted Republican because.....

***
My eyes!!

Food Pr0n: one, two

Very Meta. She should be in a band with the Nirvana Nevermind kid and the Bee Girl instead.

How to Twirl Your Tassles (nsfw). I would love an explanation of the anatomy+physics.

tuesday!

Happy Primary Day! Since I'll be exercising my right to vote today, let's celebrate the waning days of our democracy with a little debate. Resolved: Democratic officials (Obama, House and Senate Dems, Dem Governors) need to stand the fzck up right now and release statements of support for the people of Wisconsin AND collective bargaining rights, and if they don't, we need to primary them from the left when they're up for re-election. Obama hasn't said crap about it and neither have most Dems (other than Pat Quinn refusing to put on a Packers jersey and go to up there for his photo op per the gubernatorial football bet; he'll wait for a more "appropriate time." Don't call Pat Quinn a welcher!) The progressive community NEEDS to demand their support, both to confirm whose side they're on and to counterbalance the likes of Santorum and Fox News. It's time to demand a show of solidarity from our Dems to stand with the people, and noise and demonstration is pretty much the only thing we've got against the Kochs' money.

***

Seriously, how the fzck is this not a giant headline? The more I think about that, the angrier I get. It's dizzying.

Wisconsin/Koch Bros./Class Warfare Update: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

Krugman: Power to the People.

Tim DeChristopher: one, two (I just heard about this even though it's not necessarily new)

This guy is awesome +1.

I don't love this but I don't hate it either.

Hey, this is stupid and awful.

***
The new Britney Spears video. There's an uncanny valley effect happening with her entire lower half, it doesn't look real.

I am actually sorta interested in reading this.

Denny's vs. IHOP

LOVE

derp!

Business Cat is all Business.

monday!

If you're a Chicago resident and you're voting in tomorrow's primary (and if you're not voting, what the hell is wrong with you?), please consider voting for progressive candidate Miguel Del Valle.

Wisconsin round up: one, two, three, four, five

FZCK THE GOP: one, two, three

The Fzcked Economy: one, two, three, four

Creating the illusion of consensus with sockpuppets.

Blecch, FYI.

I feel so safe.

Well, obviously.

Sarah Palin hates babies. Further ladybusiness here and here.

Anonymous vs. Westboro

***
Pull the string, get a cookie. You can't explain that.

Marketing bear is nomming on ur ROI.

What's up, Jesse Jackson? Oh sh1t, that IS Jesse Jackson.

I love pretty much all of these.

I feel really bad for the single African grey parrot.

wednesday!

Dudes: I am utterly burnt out and taking the rest of the week off, pending any extremely important cute things you may need to know about it. FYI.

***

Aren't "Jobs" literally everyone's number one issue? Shouldn't a statement like that kill his numbers?

A "flying Hummer" sounds like a pr0n move.

Yet more corporate spy crap: one, two

Del Valle!! Less than a week to primary day, thank goodness.

Lifting the residency rule will be bad for Chicago, full stop.

The kids today. : )

Wow.

Comet!

An incredibly compelling hypothesis regarding the persistence of poverty.

Ladybusiness: one, two

***
Heartwarming!!

Bonus points because this guy looks kinda like Richard Alpert.

This needs to be a real thing right now.

Moby: friend to all creatures in need.

tuesday!

Corporate espionage update. More here and here.

Sweet Jeebus Arizona, don't make us kick you out of the union.

Eat the Future.

Sign up and support NPR and PBS!

Happy Anniversary / You're a total travesty / Happy Anniversary!

Trifecta: racist, sexist, and size-ist!

Disturbing.

BOOM

***
Yay new Misery Bear!

It's okay to be a cat guy!

This probably could have been compressed into a list of half as many truly awesome pics, but yeah.

bear!

monday!

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you sassy b1tches.

***

I am totally down with the spirit of this idea, but the actual pay-for-performance part wouldn't act as a practical, effective stick in this case because Legislative malfeasance is rooted in perks, not salary. But I would like to see a database project that quantified Legislative votes, bill sponsored, etc. and gave you totals showing how [in]active your 'Critters are.

WHAT THE FZCK: one, two, three

Holy sh1t.

CPAC round up: one, two, three, four, five, six

Question: If (and it's a big if) Palin actually gets the 2012 presidential nomination, what are the odds that she picks a Paul for VP? How much would that choice affect her odds? (Last week's Professional Left podcast had a really outstanding debate on the topic of whether or not Palin will get the nom, and both sides were equally convincing which sort of scares the crap out of me)

Huge fan of this, IL Senate. Get it done.

Unsurprising.

BOOM

Wow, Rick Santorum, wow.

***
I'm heartbroken that Phil the DHARMA guy/Jimmy Barrett is in this steaming load of sh1t.

Bears discover fire, automatic transmission.

Because they all sorta look like wangs? I'm just sayin'...

THIS

I love the Internets.

So apparently Jim Beam has an absinthe line now.

This is hypnotic and makes me want to play with one of these.

happy friday!

This is just getting fzcking ridiculous now: one, two, three

" For some perspective, funding PBS for one year costs the same as one day in Iraq." (And speaking of...)

Craziness: prenatal surgery, done in the womb. Consider my mind blown for the day. (The flip side? OMG fzck those guys)

Distressing mental exercise.

RON PAUL, mofos: one, two, three

Yay...?

Mos Def drops concise wisdom.

***

Are we entering a new golden age of political cartooning? Evidence.

I am intrigued but still extremely skeptical, mainly because James Franco still strikes me as kind of a shifty character. Joaquin Phoenix could actually be *amazing*, I think, as either Cash or Jewel. Still, while there are no hard and fast rules to film adaptation of novels, I'm having a difficult time imagining how you'd even start a project like it, let alone cover the drill-in-the-corpse-face scene, or the amputation scene. But maybe that's Franco's oeuvre now. Aaaaaaaand now I'm going to spend several hours trying to cast the movie in my head.


This is freaking awesome. "Help Win War - Beat Fascism" was on Guthrie the cat's list this year too.

Amazing Chicago pics.

thursday!

G0DDAMMIT. What the fzck is wrong with them? (also)

Hey, Mitch Daniels can go fzck himself.

This is really disappointing on a couple of levels, and not just because George Allen is trying to make a comeback.

Dude, we JUST talked about this. Language!

fight! fight! fight!

The death of Journalism.

Lila Rose updates: one, two (Also THIS)

***
Good gods Red Pandas: one, two

Kitty!!! And other kitty!

This.

Noooooooooo...

Joy joy joy!

wednesday!

Why did this interview even happen? Why give any credibility whatsoever to a propaganda outfit? Infuriating.

If you missed it yesterday, here's a giant story about Scientology. And here's another one.

"This, by the way, is the reason why America wasn't supposed to have an aristocracy."

Fzcked healthcare: one, two

HEY: I'm doing this, and you should too.

YUP (also)

This is Glenn Reynolds. He is probably not in a position to call ANYONE a "house negro".

This is interesting. (Via)

Disappointing policy positions.

Not the bees!

Silly activism.

***
WHAT

Best police evar.

THIS x 100.

Splat!

Zero-gravity cats and pigeons.

YES

tuesday!

New Thing to Panic About: Earthquake Swarms. (Related here)

LOL ur warcrimes, pwning ur vacations.

On anti-urbanism.

The ongoing War on Women: head asplode.

Also: Minnesota Republicans trying to repeal equal pay for women. Seriously.

Corporate personhood has gone way too fzcking far.
 
Republicans lie about sh1t to scare people, part LDXI.

Jezebel fisks the sh1t out of this sexist research.

I love Chicago: my old ward vs. my current ward and their aldermanic races. I still think my former landlady should be running for alderman, she's awesome.

***
Pretty and awesome.

Snowmens!

Well, obviously.

The content of this video is pretty rad, but I am somewhat freaked out that the video exists. Did this guy have cameras aimed at the street from his apartment, or what?

I am so confused. (NSFW, girls in bikinis, Waylon & Madam)

: D

Two Things: 1. WHY, and 2. I am impressed that the monkey doesn't just spend the whole time trying to get the mask off.

KITTIES

monday!

Absolutely genius talking point re: privatization. This is helpful too.

Lila Rose is a monster: one, two, three, four, five

Also, this is a mountain of bullsh1t. Also this. And this. WTF?

I can't tell if this is good news or bad news.

Priestly shenanigans.

Poison water.

Fzckwits and the First Amendment.

I vote we just launch both Thomases into the sun. They're national embarrassments.

Weather + Economy.

This is like looking in to Chicago's near future. I do not welcome it.

***
SLOTH

Revenge!

Bouncy happy creatures: one, two

Meerkat knows where it's at.

Marc Maron (and his fans) LOVE YOU.

Kubrepick.

This made me oddly nostalgic.

This Has Been Stuck in My Head for a While

happy friday!

Luckily, Norm Coleman's opinions don't count for sh1t anymore.

The new Normal.

Update: the War on Women.

On "Nativism": one, two

Features/Bugs

Their Christians vs. Our Christians. (ALSO) (And ALSO...disappointing, Christians.)

***
LOVE

The Force is strong in commercials that do not suck.

Helpful!

I prefer to think this is a baby Yeti.

thursday!

On prison tourism. I did the actual Tower of London tour, which is kinda dark but also includes a chapel and some other non-prison things; I particularly enjoyed that they drained the moat, planted it with grass, and they have deer or gazelle that live down there now. I did not opt for the cheeseball Tower of London Torture! tour across the street that has an actual Iron Maiden or something in it. It is just as weird and unsettling that St. Paul's cathedral has an underground "Catacomb Cafe" though.

We're just not a civilized society anymore.

The ongoing War on Women: one, two

Fzck Mark Kirk.

THIS

The stupid, it burns so brightly.

This is huge amounts of crap.

WHOA. I am worried about the koalas and wombats and people.

***
This.

GIANT CHEESE CAVE

Sea Dragons.

Shark Week! Or just "Crap Your Pants Shark Afternoon".

Why is this a thing? WHY?

This kid is outstanding.

This is my new most favorite thing of all time.

SNOMG

Front Window View 1

Front Window View 2

My poor car in the driveway

Driveway 2

Valiant Husband

Aww, fuck you too, snow.

wednesday the snowman

The Planned Parenthood Frame Up FAIL: one, two, three

Uncloak the Kochs: one, two

Delightful.

The doctor will hump your leg now.

File Under: When You're a Hammer, Everything's a Nail. Seriously, with those guys it's like, "Hey, the sun came out! We need to invade Iran!"

Whatever: you could make just as strong a case that this is the natural sequence of events leading up to Mayor Daley becoming the new Ambassador to China as his prize for giving Rahm Chicago.

GUNS: one, two

Breathtaking corruption. I can't wait for Florida to fall in the fzcking ocean.

DUH. And DUH II.

***
You're not doing anything on this snow day anyway, right? Watch this hourlong video about quantum physics, it's rad.

Love this, miss LOST.

Sweet cat fort!

Sloths > books.

This seems kinda mean.

Fzck yeah Rastamouse!

tuesday!

Good News, Everyone!!!

Are you fzcking kidding me?

Beating down the Proles: one, two

Darrell Issa is a giant fzckweasel: one, two

Broad view on the Vinson ruling.

Okay, PLEASE STOP NOW.

ohmygodwhatisGlennBeckdoingtothatbunny? (also) (ALSO)

Our awesome, awesome discourse.

My head: owie, owie, owie

The shifting business of making a profit: one, two

Fzcking hypocrites.

Jeb Bush and Newt Gingrich would like to financially sodomize the middle class: one, two

Fox Geezer Syndrome.

***
SNOW!!!

Whoa.

I love whatever this is.

Gorgeous.

Adorable.

Happy! And happy x 10!