tuesday!

The Embiggening!

Have you been completely disappointed in humanity yet today? Let me help you check that off your To Do list.

Pardon me as I vomit blood.

Additional thoughts on the leaked cables: one, two

Reap what you sow, Ohio.

Safer food, pls.

TSA continues to fail spectacularly.

Sorta creepy, but mostly I can't believe that such a business model exists. Is there a Law or Rule that states--if you can think of something horrible/ridiculous, someone has figured out a way to monetize it?

Evanston High School, doin' stuff!

Mmm, lunch.

New (mildly disturbing) thing from Jhonen Vasquez.

I'm totally inspired to go back to school and get my Masters in Frozen Bananas.

Cartoons!

want!

fightfightfight!

monday!

Action Item!

Hammer Time: one, two

Other Big News: bomb plot foiled, memos leaked, haters hated.

Ow my wallet.

Most People are Idiots: one, two

The full episode is actually worth watching. Weird. I think the message of the story is "rich people are horrible and should be destroyed" which is pretty radical for a cartoon.

Bonus video: I enjoy Craig Ferguson.

Shut the fzck up, Bono.

Deep tee.

Love this.

Pandas! Squirrels!

wednesday!

Giving thanks the rest of the week....everyone travel safely!

***

So....is radiation the new fluoridated water, or what?

Exciting!

Your Daily Yay Franken!

Disappointing. I'm adding it to the mental list of reasons why Quinn will get recalled.

Yeah, I totally see the resemblance.

Awesome.

SAFE

/headdesk

nomnomnom

This is interesting but I am curious now as to how blind people get anywhere, ever.

NAP

tuesday!

When are the Important People going to start calling bullsh1t on this behavior? I mean, Dick Lugar gets it. Suggestions like this and this are not helping.

G0dbotherers are getting ready to ruin everything again.

Interesting analysis of the teabagger psyche, via the media.

Please, ship Alan Simpson off to the Old Cryptkeepers' Home and put someone in his position who has a soul.

Secrets, secrets, are no fun...

Can haz NOW pls?

Hey Science, where ya going?

I frequently miss college. Now is not one of those times.

Nicholas Cage yells a lot.

Fzcking microwaves, how do they work?

Blergh. /notamiracle

/heartwarming

monday!

Read and listen.

No no, *public schools* are the conformity factories.

Sadmaps.

The tyranny of slideshows.

Palinocalypse: one, two

Politics is so much more fun in other countries: one, two

Yes, "When Doves Cry" is a difficult song to cover. Which is why you leave that sort of thing to the Awesome People.

Freaking Cuteness Round Up: Otters, Foofy Bunnies, Laser Cat!, Bonus Otter

AWESOME

happy friday!

Just so I'm clear: Mike Huckabee can pardon Keith Richards and it's adorable. But Charlie Crist wants to grant a posthumous pardon to Jim Morrison and it's a thing. WHY?

I'm going back to bed.

I have no idea what's "for real" any more.

Oh my. That could be fun.

I'm confused.

Super Grandma is super.

thursday!

The heart of darkness.

And the line between sincerity and parody blurs ever further...

FACT. I feel sick.

Scandal!

Of COURSE they will, they are trying to destroy us.

That's racist!

BOOM, done. Now someone go DO IT. More here.

Science!

Picture pages.

Russia in 15 seconds.

Imma let you finish, but I was, in fact, the boss.

Contest: Worst Logo Ever.

Perspective.

Awesome.

wednesday!

Morons: one and two

WTF doesn't seem strong enough.

Libertarianism is an Even Bigger Facade for Fascism Than You Thought: one, two

And I can't imagine why they might be "hypersensitive" about it.

Dear Doctors and Hospital Admin: Fzck You. EMTALA may be "unfunded" but that's the cost we pay to live in a civilized society that doesn't let people die just because they're poor. I'm sorry you have a problem with that. Also related: Oh my g0d, I fzcking hate you so much.

I love my Congresswoman.

This is actually a nice response to a lot of Jon Stewart's comments.

"[P]ain relief and emotional relief are essentially the same thing."

Hmm, that's convenient....

Indeed.

My new wallpaper.

/nightmare

CAT HUGS

tuesday!

Beating Dead Horses: the TSA, the Catfood Commission (and II), Antichoicers,

"Dumbfounded" doesn't even begin to cover it.

Weird, I think (and hope) Chelsea runs someday too.

Terrifying and stupid.

Mark Kirk did this crap too and I still think it's treason. Fzck you, Cantor.

Sad: I had to really consider this before I realized it was a joke. Because that guys is that nuts and the world is exactly that irrational at this point.

Action Item!

And Action Item Two!

Uh, what? And what?! part two.

Helpful First Aid hints.

Guardcat suffers not fools nor alligators gladly.

Once I get one of these we're totally having a Prisoner theme party.

want!

Kittehs!

monday!

Morning Music

Stewart v. Maddow mini: one, two, three

Lies, damn lies, and a bunch more lies on top.

File Under: You Are Probably Getting Screwed Somehow Too

Two Things: 1. Gert Boyle is awesome, do not fzck with her, and 2. How would you guys feel if it was proposed that old folks were added to the roster of protected classes under Hate Crimes Legislation? Because seriously, criminals who prey on old people make my blood boil almost to the same degree as predators who go after little kids. It's a special, extra kind of wrong, and I think I'd be in favor if someone put the proposal up.

Exorcism is a countercyclical asset, apparently.

Spicy!

Hell no I won't fly.

Important Canadian News!

Sweet Jeebus, I really want to try one of these mocha buns. This place needs to open up a location in Niles near the Super H Mart.

You look like sh1t.

STOP

Adventures in Advertising History! (This made me miss MadMen a whole lot)

Learn Along with Seinfeld.

WTF

happy friday!

Is anyone else kinda disturbed this, and the larger general trend of random corporate thugs (helloooo, Arne Duncan) being put in charge of public schools, instead of, y'know, actual educators and education administration professionals? What the fzck?

And I continue to have a serious hate-on for "naming rights".

Watch this whole thing. Now can we get someone who's not a hooker-loving hypocrite to get out there and argue like that some more?

Hey Rumsfeld: your contemptuous opinions no longer matter. Suck on that.

Cost-benefit analysis, ur doin it wrong.

Seems like this should be legally actionable. Isn't that like fraud or something?

I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that 3-D printers even exist, so....

Hey, that's super racist!

HEADDESK. Also this and this.

This is sorta important if you know someone on one of these drugs. Tom's mom broke a bone in her foot earlier this year and her doctor told her to STOP taking Boniva while she was healing, which should tell you how unstable doctors think the drugs are.

A hundred different d1ckface jokes all collided in my head at once.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

thursday!

Be polite when you lie to my face. Related here.

Chip, chip, chip...

Mmm, ethical.

Good news, everyone!

This reminded me of this, and now I'm all freaked out.

TSA mini round up: one, two, three

What the fzck.

/heavysigh

Progressive Throwdown Alert!

Gods I love Michael Showalter.

My only complaint with this sloth potty training video is that the lady says "poo" instead of the infinitely cuter "poop", which I think would suit the sloth much better.

I'm sure their Giant Face babies will be gorgeous.

Served.

wednesday!

"[Gutierrez] also said that he bought the town home as a favor to a friend, who said having a congressman as a neighbor would boost property values." How is a statement like that not an automatic 'Game Over' for a life in politics? That belies such a detachment from the state of the Everyman I'm nauseated the guy's a Democrat.

The GOP agenda is just fzcked: one, two

Pay no attention to the total destruction, citizens.

Bizarre map follies.

So....revolution now?

Parent of the Day.

File Under: Phoning It In

I dunno, this just screams "fresh perspective", right? Bleah.

Puppers! (And more)

The Mekons need a dollar. Give them a dollar!

Isn't it sort of amazing that deer have survived this long? They're remarkably stupid.

"Beetloaf"!

ART

tuesday!

Well, this seems like a legislative no-brainer. Am I missing something?

The fightin' scientists!

Mark Kirk's thugs weren't the only ones having voter intimidation-y fun on Election Day.

Our shiny police state. Related here.

This is a bit long but a good, disturbing read.

File Under: Fevered Egos.

It's twenty-fzcking-ten. How the fzck is this still an ongoing discussion?

On the right to be forgotten.

"I would rather sit with the rural poor, the desperate children of urban blight, the victims of racism, and working people seeking a better life than with those whose religion is the status quo, whose goal is profit and whose hearts are cold."

WTF?

Torn between "wow" and "want".

Love this. (mildly NSFW, language only)

THIS.

monday!

Great takedown of the grouchy rural folks downstate.

Sweet, sweet death by dairy.

Charming.

How are YOU helping the economy today? (Hint: this is not helping.)

BLEAH

Of course he is. /hate

This is sort of the opposite of underpants gnomes. Coat elves?

Perspective.

Whoa: one, two

This is so excellent I wish the mythological part was true.

Stuff like this is why I still keep listening to Bill Maher.

Love this.

Oooooookay....

Neil Gaiman is much nicer than I am.

Baby otters go for a swim!

happy friday!

More 21st century laws, pls.

Fzcked Ohio. I'm possibly MORE depressed over the number of states that flipped to Republican governors this week, because the state level's where you can really screw over schools and poor people (which is why I support federalizing Medicaid).

Hey, this is great news for rich, well-connected dopesmoking teenagers in DuPage County!

Apt.

Science!

Harry Potter is a bad influence.

This blog has 26 PAGES of pictures of dudes with beards eating cupcakes. I love the Internet and all it hath wrought.

Probably not. I can't recommend Marc Maron's podcast enough, regarding the Mencia stuff and otherwise.

thursday!

Yeah, these are all great ideas, so they'll totally never happen.

We're all so thoroughly screwed. More here. And it's going to be painful to fight.

/headdesk

Awesome.

Sigh.

Given how horrible everything else is, this sort of thing needs to happen more often or I'm just going to lose it.

wednesday!

g0ddammit I hate Mark Kirk. And Marco Rubio. And a whole bunch of other jerks.

***

UGH

/doom

I had not heard about this. I can't say I'm a fan.

Has anyone seen Waiting for Superman yet? I'm intrigued by this take.

Quality semantics.

46.6 is all me.

I think the French one is my favorite of these.

Let us all give thanks for George Takei.

Wordnerdery!

Loading Ready Run does this sort of thing better, but still: wow, Canada.

Election Day!

More vote-tastic links to come throughout the day!

***

Happy Election Day!

There's no fighting in the war room on Election Day.

As goes journalism, goes the nation.

How a good foot soldier votes.

None of these words makes any sense together.

Apropos.

Consumerist is full of what.the.fuck. lately: one, two, three, four

lolhurl

I wonder what the actual, statistical likelihood of this happening is. I'd guess it's pretty impressive.

WANT

Go dog go!